Healing For The Rejection We All Experience

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. "(Isaiah 53:3)

Today's devotional comes from Kevin's book Rejection~

My father died on my sixth birthday. Leukemia. I soon found that I had lost my mom as well. Her need to work and her own emotional pain crowded nurturing and time together out of my life. Then, two moves in the next three years made me the new kid in town that got picked on by everyone else.

By seventh grade, things had changed. I was well-liked and accepted. But I had no friends -- no one to whom I revealed my true self. Why? I had experienced enough rejection by then that I was unwilling to risk being rejected again.

There are three different types of rejection we can struggle with. The simplest is performance rejection. This occurs when we experience criticism for our actions that is not given in love. While such rejection stings, it is not devastating. A poor job evaluation is an example of performance rejection.

The second type of rejection is very painful. Personhood rejection occurs when people reject who we are. Our identity is called deficient, not our conduct. I remember a teacher in fifth grade calling me names when I did not attend his class. My inability to please him (performance rejection) resulted in a rejection of who I was (personhood rejection). A small incident? Yes. But I remember it 37 years later.

Rejection, like abuse, is not measured by what happens, but by the impact it has.
The lack of affirmation is another part of personhood rejection. Just like flowers need water, we need affirmation. When affirmation is withheld, our sense of being acceptable withers and dies. Even though no one may say anything negative, the lack of anything positive is just as powerful a rejection.

We rejected ones may become people pleasers, keeping everyone else happy regardless of the personal cost. Or we may seek rejection. We don’t want it, but performance rejection is less painful than the personhood rejection we fear. In both cases, we end up living in emotional isolation.

From there, it is a short distance to third type of rejection - self-rejection. In this place, we despise and punish ourselves for who we are. By rejecting ourselves, we are finally able to join everyone else who has rejected us. It has cost us happiness, but we don’t think we deserve it anyway.

Once rejected by others, it is easy for us to believe that God also rejects us. In fact, the more rejection we experience, the more difficult it is to have a relationship with God. We have already learned to perform for others and hide our true self away. When we do that with God, we find our relationship with Him as empty as relationships are with everyone else.

Receiving healing from rejection brings us back to life emotionally. Intimacy is possible again and we feel more alive than ever. A significant part of this healing is found in allowing God access to our true selves. It is scary to do, but possible when we see that He is the ultimate recipient of rejection.

Read this short meditation slowly and prayerfully. Allow God to meet you in those sentences that emotionally parallel your own rejection. As you do, it will create the internal space needed for the Lord to comfort and heal.

As the hammer descended onto the nails, the pain experienced by Jesus was intensely physical. Those blows and all the other abuse He experienced also carried with them the sting of rejection (Mark 9:12). Mankind had rejected its Maker.
It was on the cross that Jesus experienced the culmination of a life of rejection.
Herod tried to kill Him before He could do anything to deserve it (Matthew 2:16).
He was thrown out of the synagogue and the people of his hometown tried to kill him (Luke 4:28-29). His family thought He was crazy and attempted to stop Him from doing His ministry (Mark 3:21). One of His closest followers betrayed Him for his own selfish purposes (Matthew 27:3). Another follower refused to admit he knew Him (Luke 22:57). Jesus experienced performance rejection when He did not do what everyone thought He should do. He experienced personhood rejection because He was not who everyone thought He should be. Yet, through it all, Jesus experienced the affirmation of the Father (Matthew 3:17). That is, until He hung on the cross. There in the midst of His deepest, loneliest and most agonizing hours, even the Father rejected Him (Mark 15:34).

That rejection by the Father allowed God on the cross, who is as equally God as the Father (Colossians 1:19), to enter into the fullest and most painful expression of all human rejection the rejection of one’s self.

There is no road of rejection that we can walk where we will not find the footprints of the Savior. And in each step He has taken, we will see His blood, bringing forgiveness and healing to all who will receive it.

This Week.........Ask the Lord each day to help you identify areas of rejection in your life. As things come to mind, forgive those who rejected you and forgive yourself for believing the rejection. Ask the Lord to heal the hurt and replace the rejection with His love.

"Father, thank you that You experienced rejection, too. Thank you that I have a friend who sticks closer than a brother, even in times when I feel like no one is on my side. Lord, I want to have as close a relationship with You as possible. Please heal my rejection so that I can enter into that deeper place with You. Amen."

Kevin Grenier is the author of Rejection.

How Important Is It To Forgive And Bless Our Enemies?

by Dave Wilkerson


Paul writes, “Give place unto wrath” (Romans 12:19). He is saying, “Suffer the wrong. Lay it down and move on. Get a life in the Spirit.” However, if we refuse to forgive the hurts done to us, we have to face these consequences:

We’ll become guiltier than the person who inflicted our wound.
God’s mercy and grace toward us will be shut off. Then, as things begin to go wrong in our lives, we won’t understand them, because we’ll be in disobedience.
Our persecutor’s vexations against us will continue to rob us of peace. He’ll become the victor, succeeding in giving us a permanent wound.
Because Satan succeeds in driving us to thoughts of revenge, he’ll be able to lead us into deadlier sins. And we’ll commit transgressions far worse than these.
The writer of Proverbs advises, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression” (Proverbs 19:11). In other words, we’re to do nothing until our anger has subsided. We’re never to make a decision or follow through with any action while we are still angry.

We bring glory to our heavenly Father whenever we overlook hurts and forgive the sins done to us. To do so builds character in us. When we forgive as God forgives, he brings us into a revelation of favor and blessing we have never known.

Jesus commands us to love those that have made themselves our enemies by doing three things:

1. We are to bless them
2. We are to do good to them
3. We are to pray for them

In Matthew 5:44 Jesus says, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

Overlooking Offenses

Overlooking Offenses TGIF Today God Is First by Os Hillman07-13-2009

"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
I have a friend who tells a story of a lesson the Lord taught him through his wife. It seems that every time he and his wife would get in the car to travel somewhere, his wife had a strong need to direct his driving. She would tell him where to turn and when to turn, even in their own subdivision. It was such a horrible habit that it drove my friend crazy and became the source of many an argument. Finally, one day my friend concluded that the Lord was trying to teach him something through this experience. He decided he would let go of his need to be free from this correction. He began to affirm his wife and even thank her for her input. It was excruciatingly painful to do this from where he sat.

A few months passed. He let go of the entire situation and actually got to a place where it just didn't matter to him anymore. An interesting thing happened a few months later. One day his wife looked at him and said, "John, I just realized that I have been directing your driving all these years and now realize why I do that. It goes back to my childhood when I had to direct my younger brothers and sisters. I am so sorry I have been doing that." My friend nearly fell out of his seat!

Whenever we work close to another person, whether in an office or home, small offenses can become the source of great conflict. Resentment and irritability soon follow. God brings these "offenses" into our lives to develop character qualities in us. He uses individuals in our lives to accomplish his goal of making us more Christ-like. So the next time you complain or resist a habit or action from someone close to you, ask God if it has been placed there to develop some quality in you. Pride is the root source of the need to change another person. A man's wisdom gives him patience-to let go of little offenses. This is where spiritual maturity is seen in the day-to-day activity of life. Is there someone close to you who has some habit you really want to change? Give up that desire to the Lord. Who knows, He may even change it after you let go of the need to change it.

Lord, today July 18, 2009......I give it up!

Hello Monday!!

Something to think about . . .

You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act.
~ Barbara Hall

Walking Through When Doors Open . . .

When a door opens, walk through it. Trust that the door has opened for a reason and you have been guided to it. Sometimes we have a tendency to overanalyze or agonize over the decision, but it is quicker to simply go through the door and discover what’s there as that’s the only way to know. Even if it doesn’t seem right at first, opening this door may lead to another door that will take us where we need to go. Doors open when the time is right for us to enter a new space, metaphorically speaking, and we can have faith that walking through is the right thing to do. Sometimes we linger in the threshold because we are afraid of leaving our old life for a life we know nothing about. We may have voices inside of our heads that try to hold us back or people in our lives saying discouraging things. These voices, internal and external, are known as threshold spirits, and they express all the fears and doubts that arise at the beginning of a new life. Nevertheless, none of these voices can hold us back, and they will fall silent as soon as we cross the threshold. There are many doors that open in the course of our lives, leading us into new relationships, jobs, friendships, and creative inspirations. Our lives up to this point are the result of all the doors we have walked through, and our continued growth depends on our willingness to keep moving into new spaces. Every time we walk through an open door, we create a sense memory that encourages us to move into the new fearlessly. When we enter the new space, we almost always feel a thrill and a new feeling of confidence, in ourselves and in the universe. We have stepped across the threshold into a new life. ~ Nigel Alston

Consider This . . .

Start walking.......A door is open.

How can a woman not love the Lord??

• He is a gentleman
• He is confident
• He is a provider and protector
• He is rich and powerful
• He owns everything; there is nothing He wouldn't do for me
• He perfects all things concerning me
• He anticipates my wants and needs
• Every day He tells me and shows me how much He loves me
• I don't have to perform in order to earn His love
• He keeps all of his promises
• No one can influence His opinion of me
• He is the ultimate intimate partner
• He can't 'disown' me because I am a part of Him
• He prepares a table before me (Selah)
• He covers me and doesn't expose me
• He wrote His loving words down so that I'll never forget how He feels about me!

NOW THAT'S LOVE!!! Any man, who wants pointers on how to love a woman, should study GOD! Wake up every day and thank God for being the best 'man' in your life! Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith!

Let's continue to pray for one another. The Prayer ~

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask you to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace. Where there is a need, I ask you to fulfill their needs.. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name, Amen